Hab U readed da LOL Cat Bible?

MY hoomin bean gotz allz kindz ob hoomin beanz comingz in2 our housey nowZ! Der be (dis is my bean'z spellingz): a nurse, a physical therapist, an occupational therapist, and a physican's assistant coming ebber weeks an sometimez 2 an 3 timez in a weekz! I dunt likez it cauz I haz to hidez when deez hoomin beanz comez into OUR housey so day dunt picks me upz an playz wiff me likez I be a dolly or sumpin. OK?

But dat ain't whyz I writez dis bloggie postie. OK? I writez it cuz I is a LOL cat (kat) an my hoomin bean and me we jist find da LOL Cat Bible. Here iz anz xamplez ob it dat my hoomin bean (u knownz he iz beenz to semi-nary an iz or-dained, dunt u?) sayz iz froms MARKZ 1, whatzeber that iz:

 K, I just telz u this, but I telz u agin. Ceiling Cat haz son name Happy Cat. This hiz stori:2 Wise catz sed, Ceiling Cat send wai smrt d00d.3 He make thingz redy 4 Happy Cat.4Hiz name John. He wantz us to dunk in watr. (wtf? iz dat srsly?)5 Catz let him do thiz crzy thing tho. Tehy dunk in watr. Srsly6 John warez crzy clothez and eatz bugz (he no haz cheezburgr?)7 He sez, "New cat come, him wai betr thn me.8 I dunkz u with waterz but he givz u Hovr Cat. Srsly.
9 So Happy Cat, he come to John like John sez. John dunkxz Happy Cat with waterz.10 Ceiling Cat sends Hovr Cat.11 Ceiling Cat sez "This mai Kitteh. He roxxors an I'ze happy."12 Thn teh Hovr Cat sends him 2 wild.13 An he was in wilderness long tyme (srsly, 40 dais!). An Basement Cat wuz showin' lotza evilz cheezburgrz an catnipz to him. An he wuz wit teh sqirrelz, an anjelz wer giving him srsly betur cheezburgrz an brayded hiz fur.
14 Aftr John wuz arrestid (PWND!!!1), Happy Cat came into Galilee, sez to all teh kittinz about teh gud newz of teh Ceiling Cat,15 an he sayd, "iz tyme, kittenz! Ceiling Cat'z kingdim is here! 4saek yr evl waiz an beleev in teh good newz!" (awsum, srsly!)

OK? Ifz u wantz to readz morez ob the LOL Cat Bible den you canz usez ur mousey to clickz on da blue linky thingie upz at da topz. OK?